In Deep Water

I am midway through the semester. Feeling exhausted and lonely.
I just always think people don't like me so I figure they don't wan to me around me.
Either way, I am enjoying clinicals a whole lot. Even though I am exhausted by the end of the day, they really give me the sense of fulfillment to know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. Taking care of people makes me feel needed and useful so it's really a win-win situation. If I could tell anyone anything before they started doing clinical rotations I would say that the main thing I missed is using my resources. The first day there I was so nervous and anxious during patient-pick up because I felt alone and stranded. However, I quickly learned that as long as I am not encroaching on anyone's schedule, using the nurses around me is extremely helpful. Specially whichever nurse is assigned to my patient for that day. I would also recommend eating breakfast every morning and taking time to take care of yourself during the day. Remember to stay hydrated and well-fed because you are no good to someone passed out in the middle of the nurses' station.
School is not as academically difficult and they kept stressing during orientation. The material is -not- rocket science. In fact, a lot of it is common sense and critical reasoning with a scientific background knowledge. The only thing I would say is that focus is extremely important because a lot of programs are very fast-paced and things will sneak up on you. Feeling rushed is just no fun for anyone so keeping track of school work, making a weekly agenda and setting personal goals is really important and helps out a lot.
I have yet to buy myself some cute yellow scrubs, I think that they would just be so upbeat and happy and cheerful. Anyways, my quest continues.
I have two exams coming up next week and I plan to start my study routine tomorrow or Wednesday. I already started making my flashcards and looking over the material that will be covered. I am most anxious about a midterm that is the only other exam besides the final in this class. I like a lot of grades because it means more opportunities to recover from a mess up in grades. Also, I want to create a cushion for finals so that I have at least one class that I am not freaking out over. I learned during undergrad that doing that is about the greatest relief ever. I hated reaching the end of the semester and needing straight A's in finals in order to make a B in the course. I cannot count the amount of breakdowns and exhaustion-driven catatonic episodes at the end of that semester. Those are definitely not fun and I do not want to experience them again!
Speaking of taking care of myself, I think I am catching a bug but it might just be really bad allergies... and then there is the very high possibility that I am turning into a zombie (two words: double tap). I am just drinking a lot of Vitamin C and taking it easy studying and chilling in my room... preparing for my lab check-off tomorrow.